Why do we sabotage ourselves?

So today I banged my funny bone on my kitchen cupboard and it hurt like hell. So what do I say as it happens? "F*@k me!" Really? Why? Why on earth would I be offensive to myself after I hurt myself? I mean, I should be saying instead, "Hey there sweet, wonderful person, you're going to be okay." But nope. I cursed at myself instead, treated myself horribly. Because we aren't prone to being loving to ourselves, are we? We just pile on the pain. Pile on more insults. Like we believe we're deserving of more of them, instead of loving behavior. And as writers, if things aren't going our way, we just assume it's going to keep going like that too. Piling on more misery. For instance if we haven't been writing, then does that motivate us to write? Not usually. We usually just keep putting it off. Another TV show to watch that we heard was good, instead of writing. Another book to finish reading, instead of writing. Friends who want to meet for drinks, we can't possibly blow them off. And the longer we postpone our writing time, the more we figure, well, I haven't been writing, what's another day? It's a lot! It's our lives! It's our dreams! Why on earth do we think postponing going after our dreams is even an option? I mean when we put it that way, it seems like NOT writing is the complete foolish thing to do. But somewhere in our lives, we've been told following our dreams is a waste of time. And no matter how much we try to drown out that voice that said that, it's still there isn't it? Somewhere in the back of our minds. Slowly creeping into our subconscious like a black ooze from a horror movie that eventually engulfs the lead characters until no one's left to survive. Unless...! There's one strong hero! And he fights the evil ooze. Until Part Two of course. But, my whole point, is that we can be the hero of our lives and our dreams. We can be the one that fights off procrastinating when it's time to write, when it's been a while for us to put our dreams first. Because that's what we were put on this earth to do. Tell our stories. And we don't owe an apology to anyone who doesn't get that. Because the ones who truly love us, do get it. And the ones that don't, well, they probably would curse at us when we hit our funny bones any way. So be good to yourself. Be loving to yourself. And put your writing first. Because it's the least you deserve.