Woo hoo

So today my writing parter and I changed our outline we had submitted to producer #1. Because when he met with producer #2, he said he wanted us to woo the reader more. The funny thing is, I knew exactly what he meant, because someone in my writing group had just sent a treatment for Terminator just last week, and that's exactly what HE did. So I went about wooing the reader. For those who don't know what that means, and believe me, my partner who's sold two scripts wasn't even sure what that meant till I did it, then you're not alone. And if I hadn't have seen the Terminator treatment, I probably would have been in the dark too. I'll post the opening of the Terminator treatment to give you an idea.

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The Present.
Los Angeles ghetto.
Schoolyard.
Night.

Among the spray-painted school buildings a cat prowls
between the dumpsters. It looks up, freezing alert, at
something beyond human perception.

A sourceless wind rises, and with it a keening whine.
Papers blow across the pavement. The cat yowls and hides.
Windows rattle.
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Pretty good stuff huh? I could post more, but you get the gist. It's not boring, it paints the story from the get-go. You can see the movie just from the treatment. I love it! And love that I just so happened to get this treatment last week, days before the producer mentioned he wanted that. Love how things work like that. So will send it to him tonight so that when he meets with producer #2 in January, we've got an outline that woos the reader.